lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
