No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
