KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
