I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
