Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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