If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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