5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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