well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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