is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
