Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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