I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
