If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's never too late to be topless.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
