She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
