so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
