Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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