pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
