In the future we'll all be gay
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
