capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize