One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
