when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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