he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
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