Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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