i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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