Walk of Shame. In a state park.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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