Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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