Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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