You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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