I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Actions speak louder than pants.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
