Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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