i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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