I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
