I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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