shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
