nut hugger
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
