i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
