Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
