it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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