everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize