my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
