I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
