I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
