she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
