JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
