also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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