She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
