I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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