Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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