$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
