I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize