im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
