I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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