My friends, they love my intelligence
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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