On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
