i just had sex bonerless
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
