i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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