you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
