The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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