super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
