let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
