Is it normal to miss your booty call?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
