you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
