Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
