I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
