Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
