Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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