I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize