Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
