It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
