I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
one two three fourrrrnication!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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