Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
