When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
