Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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