No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
