Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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