Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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